Somewhere along the way I developed a row of odd and stinging bumps on the back of my neck. My first thought was bedbugs but then started fearing it was shingles. After a week of no improvement I sent an email to my dear friend Betsy, an expert at all things. In 30 seconds she called me on the phone. Five minutes later she had researched and sent me info about how to find a nearby homeopathic apothecary. She told me, "These are the royal purveyors of homeopathic remedies to the royal family. If they're good enough for the Queen, they MIGHT be good enough for our Ann!"
I set off on foot and found a street full of high-end alternative medicine shops and health advisors. At Ainsworth's two experts examined my rash and confidently declared it NOT shingles. One asked with a straight face if I had been around any bats, vampires for example? I immediately thought of the haunted cemetery in Nottingham. They declared it to be insect bites of some strange kind but not bedbugs. Q: Do bugs like you? A: Yes. Q: Do you usually react intensely to bites? A: Yes. Q: Were you under stress when you left home? A: I work at Apple. Q: Have you been getting much sleep? A: I'm sharing a flat with 8 other people. Q: Have you been eating your fruits and veggies? A: Do fried potatoes count?
They said that due to all the summer rain there are lots of bugs and many people are showing up with odd bites. Consultation = free. Vitamins, probiotics, and homeopathic tropical cream = priceless.
Sent from Ann's iPhone
The Brits don't really do fruits and veggies, do they? Except as mash or jelly, right?
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